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 Category:  Humor Script
  Posted: September 5, 2020      Views: 54

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 ABOUT
ELCHUPAKABRA 

Once upon a time I was harsh but time has worn me down and taught me; empathy is not a weakness. ~ Jack (Elchupakabra)

He is a top ranked author at the #62 position.

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Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of language.
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Part of a script I'm working on, rough draft
"Phone Jockeys Pt. 2" by elchupakabra



CUT TO - EXT. SERVCOMM INC. OFFICE PARKING LOT - JAMES' CAR INT.

ALEX takes a long puff on a joint. He passes it to JAMES, who also inhales deeply. The car is quickly filling with smoke. They are tucked in a back corner of the parking lot, not visible to the main doors.
                      
ALEX

What's your deal today anyways?

JAMES looks at ALEX, exasperated.
               
JAMES

You don't listen to a fucking thing I tell you.

ALEX

(Throws his hands up) What?

JAMES

Me and Cindy broke up.

ALEX

Cindy and I.

JAMES

What?

ALEX

You said 'Me and Cindy'. It's Cindy and I.

JAMES

Dude, who cares about my fucking grammar?

ALEX

Man, calm down. Maybe this is why Cindy broke up with you.

JAMES

(looks at ALEX incredulously) You're a piece of work.

ALEX

A piece of art. (winks at JAMES)

JAMES

(scoffs) Yeah, a fucking soup can. What's this meeting all about anyways?

ALEX

Some big merger.

JAMES

Wait... a merger? With who?

ALEX

INTERSUITES.

JAMES

Ah man, those guys are huge fucking narcs. This place already sucks just wait 'til they get here.

ALEX

They can't be any worse than WAYNE. Plus, it would be nice to have some... fresh blood around.

JAMES

You're gross.

ALEX

Hey man, it's not my fault you locked yourself down for five years. I'm trying to hook up with some of those INTERSUITES babes and you should be too. You should come out with me tonight.

JAMES

Fuck off. I'm almost 30, dad bods don't play in LA when you don't have any fucking kids, plus I've got a mountain of work back at the office.

ALEX

Man, stop whining. We haven't been out in ages, just fucking come out with me tonight, ok? There's this new place I've been going to, you'll love it. It's less club, more pub, pool tables, rock music. Very much your scene.

JAMES

Fuck it. Fine. That actually doesn't sound bad. I'm in.

ALEX

Alright let's go get this shit over with.

They each take another toke before putting out the joint. They put in some visine, spray some cologne and exit the car.

INT. SERVCOMM INC. OFFICE BUILDING - MEETING ROOM

ANGELA, a heavy-set woman in her 40's and the manager of SERVICECOMM LA BRANCH is preparing her slideshow for the morning meeting. WAYNE and several other employees are already seated. ALEX and JAMES walk in about ten minutes late.

ANGELA

Nice of you to join us.

ALEX

Are your slides ready?

ANGELA

(stutters) N-no.

ALEX

Then I guess we didn't miss anything.

ANGELA shoots daggers at ALEX with her eyes but chooses to dismiss him wordlessly.
                                     
ANGELA

(Addressing the group) I have some tremendous news that has been made official!

The collective of the office groans, except for WAYNE who begins applauding enthusiastically.
                              
ANGELA

Thank you, WAYNE. That's right, as some of you may have heard, we will be having an inter office merger with INTERSUITES INCORPORATED. SERVICECOMM has recently acquired INTERSUITES and our two largest branches in Los Angeles will be merging together, right here in these offices. Now, I know this might be a big change for every-

ANGELA is cut off by the door opening. CHAD WALKER enters the room, a middle aged executive type with a sharp suit and sunglasses during the day.
                                              
ANGELA

Hello, CHAD. Everyone, this is CHAD WALKER, he was the regional manager at INTERSUITES and-

CHAD

(cutting off ANGELA and stepping in front of her to draw attention away from her) -and I will be taking over from here on out.
                             
ANGELA

(wedging her way back to CHAD's side) Actually, we've been deemed co-managers, with CHAD focusing on the sales divisions while I focus on human resources.

CHAD

That means from here on out, your asses, they belong to me. I've been looking at your numbers, and they're dogshit. Whatever you've been doing until now, it's not working, and it's all about to change. Now, get the hell out of here and go give me a reason not to fire you.
                                    
ANGELA

I actually have a lot more left be-

CHAD

I said out! (yells, pointing at the door)

The group quickly gathers their things and leaves. WAYNE whimpers audibly as he passes CHAD, looking longingly into ANGELA's eyes. CHAD spots ALEX and JAMES slinking out at the back of the group.
                             
CHAD

You two bozos hang back.

JAMES and ALEX look at each other nervously. CHAD approaches them.
             
CHAD
I can already tell you two nimrods are smarter than the rest of these clowns, so I'm going to be like a hawk, on that ass. *IMITATES SCREECHING HAWK NOISE* Now, fuck off. (turning to ANGELA) Let's talk, babe.

ALEX and JAMES exit the meeting room.

Author Notes
Character List (to date)

ALEX: Protagonist 1, employee at ServiceComm
JAMES: Protagonist 2, supervisor at ServiceComm
WAYNE: Antagonist, fellow employee of ServiceComm
ANGELA: Antagonist, manager of ServiceComm
CHAD: Manager of InterSuites

Previously: James and Alex, who have grown up together, find themselves in a Bangladesh prison.

We flashback to several weeks prior, when they are still working together at the office ServiceComm. The last we saw, they were headed out to James' car to smoke.
Pays one point and 2 member cents.

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